As salamu alikum and hello everyone!
My deepest apologies for not posting this sooner. This is the last chapter of the book but there are three appendixes with lots more information that I have decided inshallah to just post them on Fridays. So, lets get on with it!
I have this book, Guarding the Tongue, from the book Al-Adhkaar. It is the 4th book of The Golden Advice Series from DARUSSALAM PUBLICATIONS, that I have been reading during Ramadan besides the Quran and any other Islamic books inshallah. My idea is to post a little from the book that I learned and I want to share, from each chapter each week inshallah. There are four chapters along with three appendixes, so there should be plenty of things to share about inshallah.
The chapter this week is: Expiating Oneself and Repenting From Backbiting
My deepest apologies for not posting this sooner. This is the last chapter of the book but there are three appendixes with lots more information that I have decided inshallah to just post them on Fridays. So, lets get on with it!
I have this book, Guarding the Tongue, from the book Al-Adhkaar. It is the 4th book of The Golden Advice Series from DARUSSALAM PUBLICATIONS, that I have been reading during Ramadan besides the Quran and any other Islamic books inshallah. My idea is to post a little from the book that I learned and I want to share, from each chapter each week inshallah. There are four chapters along with three appendixes, so there should be plenty of things to share about inshallah.
The chapter this week is: Expiating Oneself and Repenting From Backbiting
"Guard your tongue O mankind
And do not let it bite you, for indeed it is a snake
How many people in the graveyards are there, who were killed by their tongues
Whoever fears meeting Him (on the Day of Judgement) is truly the brave one."
{Al-Usool Wa Al-Futuhaat Ar-Rabaaniyyah
Know that it is required upon everyone that commits a sin to rush towards repenting from it. Repentance with regard to the rights of Allah must meet three conditions:
1. One must stop committing that sin immediately,
2. He must feel remorse and sorrow for having done it, and
3. He must resolve to not return to committing that sin again.
Repentance with regard to the rights of humans must meet the same three conditions (listed above), as well as a fourth one, and that is:
4. Taking back any oppression that was inflicted on someone or asking for his forgiveness or absolvement from that.
So it is obligatory on a person who has committed backbiting to seek repentance according to these four conditions, because backbiting involves the rights of people, so he must seek the forgiveness of the person he has backbitten.
Is it sufficient for one to just say: “I have backbitten you, so please absolve me from (this) sin” or must he inform him also of what he said about him?
There are two views on this according to the Shaafi’ee scholars:
The First: His clarifying what he said (when backbiting) is a condition. So if he is absolved without informing him of what he said, the pardon is not valid, just as if he were to absolve him from (stealing) unidentifiable money.
The Second: His informing him (of what he said) is not a condition, because this is something that one will not be able to tolerate and thus forgive. So his knowing (exactly what was said) is not a condition, contrary to the example of the (stolen) money.
The first opinion is the strongest, since people have the ability to grant forgiveness for certain types of backbitten but not other types.
And if the one who has been backbitten is either dead or absent, then one is excused from seeking to be absolved from it. However, the scholars say: he should supplicate much for that person and ask forgiveness for him, as well as do many good deeds.
Know that it is preferable for the one who has been backbitten to absolve the backbiter from his sin, but it is not an obligation on him to do so. This is because it is giving away and forfeiting one’s right so the choice is his. However, it is strongly recommended (Muta’akkidah) for him to absolve him so that his Muslim brother can be free from the harm of this sin and so that he can be successful in receiving Allah’s great reward of Forgiveness and Love.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) says:
“Those who repress their anger and pardon people. Veriely Allah loves the good doers.” [Aal ‘Imraan (3):134]
The proper way he should take in making himself allow the pardoning is by reminding himself that: “This matter has already happened and there is no way to remove it now. So it is not right for me to make him miss his chance of getting reward and absolving my Muslim brother.”
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) says:
“And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives (others), that is truly from the things recommended by Allah.” [Ash-Shooraa (42): 43]
And in the authentic Hadeeth, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam) said:
“And Allah remains in the assistance of (His) servant so long as the servant remains in the assistance of his (fellow) brother.”
Ash-Shaafi’ee (raheemahullah) said: “Whosoever is sought to be pleased, yet is not pleased is a devil.” The people of the past would recite: “It was said to me: Such-and-such person has spoken badly of you and when a youth sets out to humiliate, it is a shame. So I said: He has come to us and issued an excuse. The blood-money (i.e. recompense) for a sin-to us-is the apology.”
So what we have mentioned here concerning the encouragement for one to absolve and forgive a person from backbiting is what is correct.
As for the Hadeeth:
“Are you not able to be like Abu Damdam-when he would go out from his home, he would say: ‘I am giving my honor away on charity for the people.’” [Collected by Ibn Sunnee, It was graded Da’eef by Al-Albaanee in ‘Irwaa’ul-Ghaleel.
Meaning: I will not seek justice from those who oppress me whether in this world or the Hereafter. This is useful in removing a transgression that existed before the absolvement, but as for what occurs after it, there must be a new absolvement made after that.
And with Allah lies the success.
-End of words from Al-Imaam An-Nawaawee-
1. One must stop committing that sin immediately,
2. He must feel remorse and sorrow for having done it, and
3. He must resolve to not return to committing that sin again.
Repentance with regard to the rights of humans must meet the same three conditions (listed above), as well as a fourth one, and that is:
4. Taking back any oppression that was inflicted on someone or asking for his forgiveness or absolvement from that.
So it is obligatory on a person who has committed backbiting to seek repentance according to these four conditions, because backbiting involves the rights of people, so he must seek the forgiveness of the person he has backbitten.
Is it sufficient for one to just say: “I have backbitten you, so please absolve me from (this) sin” or must he inform him also of what he said about him?
There are two views on this according to the Shaafi’ee scholars:
The First: His clarifying what he said (when backbiting) is a condition. So if he is absolved without informing him of what he said, the pardon is not valid, just as if he were to absolve him from (stealing) unidentifiable money.
The Second: His informing him (of what he said) is not a condition, because this is something that one will not be able to tolerate and thus forgive. So his knowing (exactly what was said) is not a condition, contrary to the example of the (stolen) money.
The first opinion is the strongest, since people have the ability to grant forgiveness for certain types of backbitten but not other types.
And if the one who has been backbitten is either dead or absent, then one is excused from seeking to be absolved from it. However, the scholars say: he should supplicate much for that person and ask forgiveness for him, as well as do many good deeds.
Know that it is preferable for the one who has been backbitten to absolve the backbiter from his sin, but it is not an obligation on him to do so. This is because it is giving away and forfeiting one’s right so the choice is his. However, it is strongly recommended (Muta’akkidah) for him to absolve him so that his Muslim brother can be free from the harm of this sin and so that he can be successful in receiving Allah’s great reward of Forgiveness and Love.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) says:
“Those who repress their anger and pardon people. Veriely Allah loves the good doers.” [Aal ‘Imraan (3):134]
The proper way he should take in making himself allow the pardoning is by reminding himself that: “This matter has already happened and there is no way to remove it now. So it is not right for me to make him miss his chance of getting reward and absolving my Muslim brother.”
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) says:
“And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives (others), that is truly from the things recommended by Allah.” [Ash-Shooraa (42): 43]
And in the authentic Hadeeth, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam) said:
“And Allah remains in the assistance of (His) servant so long as the servant remains in the assistance of his (fellow) brother.”
Ash-Shaafi’ee (raheemahullah) said: “Whosoever is sought to be pleased, yet is not pleased is a devil.” The people of the past would recite: “It was said to me: Such-and-such person has spoken badly of you and when a youth sets out to humiliate, it is a shame. So I said: He has come to us and issued an excuse. The blood-money (i.e. recompense) for a sin-to us-is the apology.”
So what we have mentioned here concerning the encouragement for one to absolve and forgive a person from backbiting is what is correct.
As for the Hadeeth:
“Are you not able to be like Abu Damdam-when he would go out from his home, he would say: ‘I am giving my honor away on charity for the people.’” [Collected by Ibn Sunnee, It was graded Da’eef by Al-Albaanee in ‘Irwaa’ul-Ghaleel.
Meaning: I will not seek justice from those who oppress me whether in this world or the Hereafter. This is useful in removing a transgression that existed before the absolvement, but as for what occurs after it, there must be a new absolvement made after that.
And with Allah lies the success.
-End of words from Al-Imaam An-Nawaawee-