As salamu alikum and hello everyone!
Sorry about not posting this sooner!
I have this book, Guarding the Tongue, from the book Al-Adhkaar. It is the 4th book of The Golden Advice Series from DARUSSALAM PUBLICATIONS, that I have been and will be reading during Ramadan besides the Quran and any other Islamic books inshallah. My idea is to post a little from the book that I learned and I want to share, from each chapter each week inshallah. There are four chapters along with three appendixes, so there should be plenty of things to share about inshallah.
Sorry about not posting this sooner!
I have this book, Guarding the Tongue, from the book Al-Adhkaar. It is the 4th book of The Golden Advice Series from DARUSSALAM PUBLICATIONS, that I have been and will be reading during Ramadan besides the Quran and any other Islamic books inshallah. My idea is to post a little from the book that I learned and I want to share, from each chapter each week inshallah. There are four chapters along with three appendixes, so there should be plenty of things to share about inshallah.
"Guard your tongue O mankind
And do not let it bite you, for indeed it is a snake
How many people in the graveyards are there, who were killed by their tongues
Whoever fears meeting Him (on the Day of Judgement) is truly the brave one."
{Al-Usool Wa Al-Futuhaat Ar-Rabaaniyyah}
- The Backbiting of the Heart
“O you who believe, avoid much (types) of suspicion. Verily some (forms) of suspicion is a sin.” [Al-Hujuraat (49):12]
And Abu Hurayrah (radyallahu ‘anhu) reported that Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam) said:
“Be aware of suspicion, for indeed suspicion is the most untruthful form of speech.” [Bukhaaree]
The Ahadeeth (the plural of Hadeeth) with this same understanding I (the author) have mentioned here are many. What the backbiting of the heart means, is: When the heart has firm conviction and holds bad thoughts about someone. But as for the notions that occasionally display in one’s mind or when one talks to himself, then as long as these thoughts do not remain established and continuous in him, it is excused according to the consensus of the scholars. This is because he has no choice in the matter so as to stop it from occurring nor can he find any way to liberate himself from it when it does occur. This is the understanding of what has been authentically established (in the texts).
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam) said:
“Indeed, Allah has permitted for my Ummah that which their souls whisper to them, so long as they do not speak it out (audibly) or act upon it.” [Bukhaaree]
The scholars say: “This refers to the notions that form in one’s mind, but do not become settled or established there.”
And they said: “This is regardless if the notion consists of backbiting, disbelief or so on (i.e. it is pardoned, so long as it does not settle). So (for example) whoever’s mind becomes flooded with thoughts of disbelief, but they are only thoughts, without him intending to have carried them out, and he then rids himself of these thoughts right after they occur, he is not a disbeliever nor is there any sin on him.” [The proof of this position is from hadeeth reported by Muslim: Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (radyallahu 'anhu): “Some people from amongst the Companions of the Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam) came to him and said: ‘Verily we perceive in our minds that which every one of us considers it too grave to express.’ He (the Prophet {sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam}) said:
‘Do you really perceive it?’
They said: ‘Yes.’ Upon this he remarked:
‘That is the faith manifest.’
This Hadeeth shoes the Companions’ zeal and enthusiasm in commanding themselves with good and forbidding from evil, such that they would even fight against the evil notions that passed through their minds. But as it is impossible to prevent such thoughts from occurring every now and then, they asked the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam) about this. His response to them meant that their trying to repel these thoughts showed their strong Emaan (Faith) and love for good.]
The reason for these thoughts being excused is only because thoughts are impossible to prevent. Rather, one is only able to prevent these thoughts from becoming settled and established in one’s mind. This is why the heart’s being resolute and determined on these thoughts is forbidden. So whenever these thoughts, which consist of backbiting or any sin, present themselves in your mind, it is an obligation on you to repel them, turn away from them and mention some excuses or explanations that will change what seems apparent.
- Concerning Gossiping
Imaam Abu Haamid Al-Ghazalee (raheemahullah) said: “For the most part, gossip (Nameemah) is attributed to the one who take the statement of a person (concerning another individual), and relates it back to that individual that is being spoken about. An example of this is when someone says: ‘That person said such-and-such about you.’
However, gossiping is not limited to just this example, but rather its extent is: Exposing that which one hates to have exposed, whether the one he is relating from or the one he is relating the story to or the third party hates it. And it is the same of this exposing is done by speech or by writing or by gesturing, etc, and regardless whether what is being narrated relates to someone’s sayings or actions, and whether it is a defect or other than that.
So the reality of gossiping is: Spreading what is supposed to be private, and destroying the concealment of what he hates to have exposed. A person must keep quiet with regard to anything he sees (or hears) from the conditions of people, except for that which if he relates will have a benefit for a Muslim or it will prevent a sin from occurring.”
- Important Points Related To the Limits of Backbiting
It’s Guidelines: Everything by which one causes others to understand the deficiencies found in a Muslim, then that is the backbiting that is forbidden. An example of this is when someone tells others that “such and such” individual walks with a limp or that he walks while humped over or anything similar to that from the aspects by which one desires to narrate in order to belittle the individual. All of this is Haram (forbidden)- there being no difference of opinion in this regard.
Another example of this is when an author mentions a specific individual in his book, saying “such-and-such person says this…” desiring to degrade him and dishonor him. This is Haram. However, if his intention is to clarify that person’s mistake so that it will not be followed or to clarify his deficiency in knowledge so that he will not mislead others or have his opinion accepted, then this is not backbiting. Rather it is advice (Naseehah), which is an obligation and which will be rewarded if that is what he (truly) intended.
Likewise, if the author or anyone else speaks generally, saying: “these people” or “this group says such-and-such, and this is an error” or “ignorance” or “negligence” or similar to that, then this is not backbiting. Backbiting is only when one mentions a specified individual or a specific group of people (i.e. by name).
Also from the forbidden types of backbiting is: When one says: “Some of the people did such-and-such” or “some of the scholars” or “some people who passed by us today” or similar to this “…did such-and-such”, without specifying anyone, but yet the one being spoken to realizes who the individuals are specifically, due to the speaker’s causing him to understand who they are (through his words).
Also from its types is: The backbiting of the devoutly pious and knowledgeable individuals, for indeed they turn towards committing backbiting by doing it in a manner by which they cause others to understand (the person they are talking about without specifying him), just as something that is quite clear is understood. So (for example) when it is said to one of them: “How is such and such a person?” He responds: “May Allah rectify us” or “May Allah forgive us” or “May Allah rectify him” or “We give praise to Allah for not having tested us with entering darkness” or “O Allah, accept our repentance”, and what is similar to that, by which one will come to realize that person’s defects. All of this is from the forbidden types of backbiting.
The source-principle of Backbiting, which is: One’s causing his audience to understand the defects found in a certain people (even without mentioning their names), as has been stated previously.
Know that in the same way that backbiting is forbidden for the one who speaks it, likewise it is forbidden for the one who listens to it and approves of it. Thus, it is obligatory on the one who hears an individual embarking on committing the prohibited form of backbiting, to forbid him from doing it as long as he does not fear any open harm resulting from that. But if he does fear (harm) from that, then he is obligated to reject the backbiting from his heart and to detach himself from that gathering if he is able to do so. If he has the ability to reject it with his tongue or to cut the backbiting off by changing the topic, then that becomes required of him. And if he does not do that, then he has committed an act of disobedience (i.e. sinned).
If he says with his tongue “Be quiet!” while desiring with his heart for it to continue, then Abu Haamid Al-Ghazaalee (raheemahullah) said: “This is hypocrisy. It does not remove him from the sin he is upon. Rather, he must hate it with his heart.”
If he is forced to stay in that gathering in which backbiting is taking place, and he fears from forbidding it, or he forbids it but it is not accepted from him and he cannot find a way to separate himself from them, then he is prohibited from listening and paying attention to the backbiting. Instead, his way out should be by making remembrance of Allah (Dhikr) with both his tongue and heart, or just his heart. Or he should think about something else in order to preoccupy himself from having to listen to it. After having done this, his hearing it without listening or paying attention to it will not harm him, while he is in this mentioned state. If he is able, after this, to withdraw from them and they are still backbiting, then separating oneself is an obligation.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) says:
“And when you see those who engage in false conversations about Our Verses by mocking them, then turn away from them until they engage in a different topic of speech. But if the Devil causes you to forget, then after remembering, do not sit in the company of those people who are the wrong-doers.” [Al-An’aam (6): 68]
- How Does One Prevent Himself From Backbiting?
Know that the main focus of this chapter is to let each individual (reading) apply all the texts we have stated concerning the prohibition of backbiting to himself and then to reflect on the Statement of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala):
“Not a word does one utter, except that there is an (angel) Watching, Ready to record it.” [Qaaf (50):18]
And His Statement:
“And you perceive it (the statement of slander) to be something small, while in the sight of Allah, it was an enormity.” [An-Noor (24):15]
And the authentic Hadeeth that we mentioned previously:
“Indeed, the servant may say a word form which Allah’s Displeasure is gained, while he does not realize it. And due to it, he will be thrown into the Hell-fire.” [Saheeh-stated previously]
He must also reflect on all the other evidences we have stated in the previous chapters on guarding the tongue and backbiting, as well. It is upon each individual to attach and apply these (texts) to all of his statements, such that (he says to himself before speaking): “Allah is witnessing me”, “Allah is watching me”.